Keep sexual contact for the very special people in your life.  Your sexuality is probably the most valuable gift you possess: share it wisely and it will continue to give you pleasure for the rest of your life.

Worthwhile relationships take time to build.  Only by building a firm base to your relationship without sexual contact can you be sure that you're not being used by the other person for their sexual pleasure.

Save your first sexual contact until it feels the natural thing to do.  You'll know when it's right because you'll always feel the happiest you've ever been when you're with the person, you'll miss them when you're not with them, and you'll feel a very strong urge to be physically close to them.  If you don't feel all of those things, wait a little longer!

If you're getting strong feelings that you might be ready to share sexually with someone, it's almost certain the other person will be feeling the same way.  You may find several people attractive, but if one of them likes you back in the same way your feelings for them will be several times more powerful.

If you've taken time to build the relationship, it should be easy to start talking about your feelings so you can both agree what should be done about them.  Talking in depth about things at an early stage can help make sure things go well if you both decide to take things further.

When you think you're ready to start your first sexual contact, it's usually best not to dive straight in at the deep end.  Increasing the relationship in small steps over a period of weeks makes sure you never feel embarrassed and ultimately makes the whole experience more special, enjoyable and memorable.  Start with things as simple as caring contact of some kind that you both enjoy, then invent anything from 10 to 100 small steps that lead you in the direction you want to go.

If this is your first sexual contact, make sure you stay in total control at all times.  Make sure it is you who initiates every step, not the other person; don't move on to the next step until you feel totally comfortable about the last one; and be ready to stop the whole process if it doesn't feel right any more.  If the other person truly cares about you, they will be happy to allow you this total control over the relationship.

You will find that you can get - and give - huge sexual pleasure without involving yourself in any kind of intercourse.  Until you're more confident about what you want it's usually best to explore all of these totally safe ways of expressing your sexual feelings.

Always keep yourself safe.  Sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) can kill, and unplanned pregnancies can lead to devastating consequences for all concerned.  Following these guidelines should ensure you avoid most of the dangers by having only a small number of special relationships with people you know well, but there will probably come a time when you decide that intercourse is right for you and your partner.  When that time comes, make sure you stay totally safe by always using a condom.